This photo is so important
if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances
So, erm.. This happened..
Esteban? more like EsteDAMN
I bet his name isn’t the only thing long about him
reblogging for the comment
have you seen my sex tape
AU where 'friend' and 'boyfriend'/'girlfriend' are the same word. imagine how confusing that would be! you would tell somebody about your ‘friend’ but they literally wouldn’t know what your relationship is because……..
oh wait sorry this isn’t an AU. German, I was talking about German. Imagine German.
do you guys realize that we never stop tasting our own tongues
how about i taste yours for a change?
that was smooth af
WHY DO THE BEES NEED TO DRIVE
THEY HAVE WINGS
dont you ever bring logic into this movie
why do people need to drive
they have legs
Just bull things.
So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.
"i was born in the wrong century," the girl sighs as she imagines a future where women have full ownership of their own bodies
|—||My guy friend trying to remember the name for sport bras (via pemsylvania)|
Best business card ever.